me: dude
this is not cool
tanka will not freaking leave me alone
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38 minutes |
10:45 PM Flaker: you brought this on yourself. If you would just do exactly as I instruct you all of the time, you would be so much better off
I’ll put together a basic schedule for you to follow, and we can work out a series of modifications to make it suit special circumstances.
10:47 PM It’s basically going to be something like: Wake up, go to work, exercise, don’t regularly sleep with a girl that you don’t want anything to do with…
We can tweak it.
10:48 PM also I found this recipe for salmon tomorrow that looks bitching. The sauce is made with scotch. F’n scotch! Also drambuie which is a whiskey based liquor. I’ll need to go to the liqour store tomorrow.
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10 minutes |
10:58 PM me: hahahah… just read your life recommendations. sounds like holy writ
10:59 PM ooo
scotch salmon?
that has gotta be good, combining two of the greatest things in the world
it’s like jesus and porn
Flaker: yeah, it’ll either be awesome or famous
jesus porn, finally.
me: yay!
11:00 PM Flaker: “Get on your knees and receive his benediction.”
“Body of christ”
me: “jesus, I want you in me”
Flaker: “Semen of christ”
me: now, that’s just heresy!
Flaker: sacrelicious
me: ahhahaha
it’s amazing the joy of combining two words
11:01 PM to make one POWER word
preposterous amounts of testosterone
Flaker: you mean like PREPOSTERONE!!
me: PREPOSTERONE!
hahahahhaha
i love it
Flaker: wow we really need to diversify
me: yeah
we’re gonna burn those jokes out in two days
i found out there is another powerthirst video
11:02 PM Flaker: yeah that’s kind of the way of things though
me: i accidentally messed up the code on my site and had to go find it
i found the original
not as good as the one we say
saw
Flaker: yeah I saw that,
me: i love the internet
i just finished watching two and a half hours of south park
11:03 PM Flaker: hahaha
me: and in the background i just finished opening 8 youporn videos
i don’t think i ever need to leave my apartment again
i have achieved…
nirvana
Flaker: hahahha
the world will miss you
me: hehe
u talk to ian yet
?
11:04 PM Flaker: nope I’ll give him a call on my lunch break, but if you talk to him, give him directions to my place. I’m done at 6 and y’all can show up any time after that.
11:05 PM me: ok
11:06 PM i hear youporn calling my name…
i’ll talk to you later
Flaker: g’night
me: night
Flaker: don’t have a heart attack
me: oo
i should put on my heart monitor
