me: i think you should come to my brithday tongiht so i can get revenge on you and throw water on you lol
you would have to be pretty damn drunk for that to be forgivable 
11:18 AM me: haha
sorry i can’t make it–i <3 sushi
11:20 AM i can totally imagine showing up at a nice restaurant with lots of civilized people and you seeing me walk in the door, then leaping up and splashing water all over me, hahaha
11:21 AM me: lol
that’s exactly what i would do
“HOW DO YOU LIKE _THAT_, BITCH!!!!”
11:22 AM i’ve got to run
but have fun tonight
11:23 AM me: k
later
sorry i can’t present myself as a target
prior engagements, you know
me: i’ll get u another time
: hahah
that sucks
haha
