Archive for the ‘Women’ Category

Rockess and the Rockets

Wednesday, March 5th, 2008

me: i was in your dream last night?

  was it a wet one? ;)

 Rockess: haha

  no

  it was just one of those dreams that doesn’t make sense

10:33 AM i think it was because we were talking before i went to sleep

 me: hmm probably

  what happened?

 Rockess: i dreamed i was supposed to meet you at a party

  and that i decided to take a nap after dinner and then get ready

10:34 AM but i slept through the whole night and woke up at noon the next day

  that was about it…pretty boring

  but i felt really guilty in the dream

  i think its because this morning i skipped working at the gym

  and i skipped a senior class committee meeting that i didn’t really have to be at

  so i had this dream after i emailed the manager at the gym to say i was sick

10:35 AM which is sort of true…i felt sick when i woke up

 me: hmm… with what?

 Rockess: the same cold i had when i was home

10:36 AM its basically gone but i still feel sick in the mornings for some reason

 me: that’s no good

  btw- fletch caught you and becca’s cold too

  haha

  he has the same thing in the mornings

10:38 AM Rockess: oh no

  that sucks

 me: lol

 Rockess: i’m so impressed that you didn’t get sick

10:39 AM me: its my beastly immune system



8 minutes

10:47 AM Rockess: how’s work today

 me: no work

  MLK day

  i am going to exercise soon

 Rockess: oh cool

 me: then go pick up food for the dinner at my place

  and clean

10:49 AM Rockess: i need to clean my room

  and get organized for classes

 me: i need to clean too, my place is messy and i’m having a ton of people over



11 minutes

11:00 AM Rockess: what are you going to make

11:01 AM me: probably pasta, a side dish and a salad

  and an appetizer

  not sure exactly what to do yet



5 minutes

11:06 AM me: i’m working on fixing a website before i exercise… what are you up to?

11:08 AM Rockess: just organizing my room a little

  there’s lots of boxes from things i ordered

11:09 AM they’ve been sitting here for days

 me: haha

  what have you been buying?

11:10 AM Rockess: stuff for the room

  a full length mirror

  a clock

  a fan

11:11 AM me: cool

  aren’t you moving though after this semester?

11:12 AM Rockess: yeah but i can use this stuff next year too

  and leave it either with my aunt in michiggan

  michigan

  or my uncle in illinois

  they’ll both be at graduation

  lol maybe they’ll let me load up their cars

 me: haha

  that’s funny

11:17 AM Rockess: yeah its going to be really nice having relatives around chicago

  my aunt is amazing

  i didn’t know her very well before i went to kenyon

  but she lives in ann arbor which is about 3 hours away

11:18 AM so i’ve been to visit her a lot and she’ll come for the weekend

  in chicago i’ll be able to take the train to michigan if i feel like getting away for a weekend

11:19 AM me: that’s pretty cool

  good having family nearby



42 minutes

12:01 PM Rockess: wow i can’t believe its 3 already

  i didn’t realize it was so late

  i guess its only 12 there…you still have the whole day ahead

 me: time is flyin

12:02 PM haha.. but i have tons of stuff to do



5 minutes

12:07 PM Rockess: yeah i need to work out eventually

  and go get a new id

12:08 PM somehow i lost mine

 me: you lost yours?

  i did that occasionally

  sucks

 Rockess: yeah its annoying

 

Flaker is Having a Party

Sunday, March 2nd, 2008

me: i’m bored

  anything entertaining on your end?



16 minutes

5:01 PM Flaker: had the interview, it went pretty well I think, she said she’d get back to me by the end of the month.

 me: this the government job?

 Flaker: yeah

5:02 PM It’s funny how apparent the difference is. Working at that tiny little private firm I had my own office with a view, if I end up working for the city attorney, I’ll be in a cubicle.

5:03 PM but the experience would be good, and it’d look nice on the resume

 me: yeah, that’s cool

5:04 PM hm

  i bought a couple pounds of cod at ouwasuperbayas today

  but i have no one to eat it with

  i feel very purposeless

 Flaker: call a craigslister

 me: nah

  don’t want to

5:05 PM Flaker: well call nick or rachelle or somebody.

  or sandy

 me: talked to rachelle, she’s super hungover

  i played chess with sandy last night

  too bad the nose isn’t around

5:06 PM Flaker: allright well then maybe this is a good opportunity for you to get comfortable being with Super.

 me: that son of a bitch?

 Flaker: he isn’t all bad, but don’t make sudden movements or loud noises.

5:07 PM me: maybe i’ll do a three hour workout

  run to rachel’s house

 Flaker: hahaha, I’m sure she’d love to see you.

  Her roommate is having a birthday party on saturday, it’s probably cool if you want to go.

 

432 and I Talk Shop

Sunday, March 2nd, 2008

432: hey

  sorry i was away like three hours ago

 me: oh no prob

7:27 PM i just got done working out

  and am trying to figure out how to cook this cod i bought today

  i got like two pounds lol

7:28 PM 432: lol what do you think you’re going to do with it

 me: no idea

  looking at recipes now

7:31 PM http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Tomato-Topped-Cod/Detail.aspx

  i’m going to try my own version of that recipe

7:32 PM 432: ooh looks good

7:35 PM how was your day?



27 minutes

8:03 PM me: it was alright

  i was feeling a little down earlier

  but then i worked out and feel better now

  my apartment smells wonderful

  i can’t wait to eat these fillets

  i am going to save one for tomorrow

  and maybe make fondue after if i’m still hungry :)

8:05 PM 432: why were you feeling down earlier

8:06 PM me: i don’t know

  just was feeling a bit purposeless

  you ever feel that way?

  like you aren’t sure where your life is going?

8:07 PM 432: oh definitely

  i felt like that during the summer

8:08 PM me: yeah, i had it bad that summer between junior and senior year

  you realize you are almost done

  right?



15 minutes

8:24 PM me: internet died

  now on the old computer

  uploading pics

8:25 PM 432: your internet died?

8:26 PM me: my laptop wasn’t connecting to the wireless corrrectly

 432: oh that’s annoying

8:30 PM what pictures are you uploading

8:32 PM wow i’m really tired for some reason

8:34 PM me: christmas stuff

  mm

  this is tasty

8:35 PM 432: the recipe turned out well?

 me: yeah i like it

8:36 PM i may have overseasoned and put too many onions in

  i cant taste the fish well

  the very expensive fish lol

8:37 PM ooo

8:38 PM if i scrape off the toppings it’s great!

 432: haha

 me: i think that is what i was supposed to do

  and then eat the rest of the stuff in between fish bites

 432: oohh

8:39 PM i miss fish

  the fish in the dining hall is always really bad

  although the gym somehow has decent sushi

8:40 PM although you have to pay for it…

 me: that sucks

8:41 PM so much fish

  i am eating a pound of cod

  lol

 432: lol

  how much is a normal serving

8:42 PM me: less

  lol

 432: you must have a crazy metabolism

8:43 PM me: yup



8 minutes

8:51 PM 432: i’m reading about a wedding cake made out of meatloaf

  with mashed potato frosting

  i love the internet

8:52 PM me: i am going to have that at my wedding

 432: haha

  its very manly

 me: start the marriage out right ;)

8:53 PM 432: lol

  then you wouldn’t have to buy a meal for the guests

  you could kill two birds with one stone

8:54 PM me: awesome!

  hehe

  i’ll hold it outside on a beach so i don’t have to pay for a venue…

  and serve the “champagne of beers”

8:55 PM i’ll get out of the wedding only out a couple hundred bucks

  !

  hehe

 432: how do you think your bride will feel about this

 me: she’ll agree because she’ll just be so overjoyed to be marrying the greatest man in all of history

8:56 PM 432: of course

8:57 PM me: ;)



45 minutes

9:42 PM 432: i should get to sleep!

  i’m going to try to work on comps all day tomorrow

9:43 PM so i can enjoy the weekend

 me: oo fun

  have a good night’s sleep

   :)

 432: thanks

 me: talk to you tomorrow?

 432: that would be great

  enjoy the rest of your night!

 me: alright, bye

 

Leave Me Alone

Saturday, March 1st, 2008

me: dude

  this is not cool

 tanka will not freaking leave me alone



38 minutes

10:45 PM Flaker: you brought this on yourself. If you would just do exactly as I instruct you all of the time, you would be so much better off

  I’ll put together a basic schedule for you to follow, and we can work out a series of modifications to make it suit special circumstances.

10:47 PM It’s basically going to be something like: Wake up, go to work, exercise, don’t regularly sleep with a girl that you don’t want anything to do with…

  We can tweak it.

10:48 PM also I found this recipe for salmon tomorrow that looks bitching. The sauce is made with scotch. F’n scotch! Also drambuie which is a whiskey based liquor. I’ll need to go to the liqour store tomorrow.



10 minutes

10:58 PM me: hahahah… just read your life recommendations. sounds like holy writ

10:59 PM ooo

  scotch salmon?

  that has gotta be good, combining two of the greatest things in the world

  it’s like jesus and porn

 Flaker: yeah, it’ll either be awesome or famous

  jesus porn, finally.

 me: yay!

11:00 PM Flaker: “Get on your knees and receive his benediction.”

  “Body of christ”

 me: “jesus, I want you in me”

 Flaker: “Semen of christ”

 me: now, that’s just heresy!

 Flaker: sacrelicious

 me: ahhahaha

  it’s amazing the joy of combining two words

11:01 PM to make one POWER word

  preposterous amounts of testosterone

 Flaker: you mean like PREPOSTERONE!!

 me: PREPOSTERONE!

  hahahahhaha

  i love it

 Flaker: wow we really need to diversify

 me: yeah

  we’re gonna burn those jokes out in two days

  i found out there is another powerthirst video

11:02 PM Flaker: yeah that’s kind of the way of things though

 me: i accidentally messed up the code on my site and had to go find it

  i found the original

  not as good as the one we say

  saw

 Flaker: yeah I saw that,

 me: i love the internet

  i just finished watching two and a half hours of south park

11:03 PM Flaker: hahaha

 me: and in the background i just finished opening 8 youporn videos

  i don’t think i ever need to leave my apartment again

  i have achieved…

  nirvana

 Flaker: hahahha

  the world will miss you

 me: hehe

  u talk to ian yet

  ?

11:04 PM Flaker: nope I’ll give him a call on my lunch break, but if you talk to him, give him directions to my place. I’m done at 6 and y’all can show up any time after that.

11:05 PM me: ok

11:06 PM i hear youporn calling my name…

  i’ll talk to you later

 Flaker: g’night

 me: night

 Flaker: don’t have a heart attack

 me: oo

  i should put on my heart monitor

 

Talk of Oysters

Friday, February 29th, 2008

Oyster: great new psoty on my blog

  post*

 Spider: hola.

  i’ll have to read it

  Super what is up?

 Oyster: Superly answer your brother

11:51 PM hmmm…Supers not here so read my blog and then we can chat on here

 Spider: okay gimme a sec

 Oyster: k

11:52 PM Spider: kind of interesting. crazy people in the dorm

 Oyster: lol

11:53 PM if you only new

  did you get those paper printed

 Spider: not yet. but will do before i go to bed

 Oyster: i couldnt watch tv tonight all the tv’s were being used so i streamed “we own the night”

  on my laptop

11:54 PM pretty good movie

 Spider: curiosity

  i am going to run, because I have to be up earlier.

 Oyster: k

11:55 PM Spider: You seeing me tomorrow in the library?

 Oyster: yep much to discuss you and i

 Spider: good. bring your financial stuff

 Oyster: dont have any

 Spider: oh well. your estimates then

 Oyster: k

  bye

11:56 PM Oyster has left

  Spider has left

 

Moham Says Funny Comments

Friday, February 29th, 2008

Moham: dude I think Im addicted to porn. And if I someday decide to start my own porn site don’t be shocked cause it might happen

 me: i’m going to come out with one asap

4:30 PM Moham: dude i have seriously considered. I’ve talked to my brother about it as well and he said that if he’s not making the money he wants by the time he’s 30 he will join me

4:31 PM I think anyone who says the porn business is wrong is a hypocrite.

  everyone watches it and as soon as you talk about making it then people frown

 me: yup

4:32 PM Moham: even that gay ass politican who says porn should be banned probably beats off to animal porn

 me: he probably has sex with transexuals

 Moham: no but I seriously love it. For example, there is this cute Irish girl that wants to fuck me. She already has a bf and before i left for Iran she ave me a bj in a public park at 4 am

4:33 PM I even have Viagra rigth now as well however I prefer to eat off to sweet porn and not pun in the work

4:34 PM me: jajajaj

  hahaha



10 minutes

4:44 PM me: dude viagra is useless for guys our age

  i prefer rough sex

  lol

4:45 PM Moham: dude colin has taken it and he says that you get the hardest boner in your life

  Ive heard that from many guys our age

  you get a rock solid boner…like th eones you used to get in gym class when you were 14

 me: hahaha

4:46 PM Moham: dude I seriously think Im always almost one inch shorter because i cant get a full hard on

 me: hahaha too mjuch beating it

4:47 PM Moham: I think so. I measured my soldier once when I had a really massive boner and it was 7.5 inches. Lately I can barely get 6

  it blows and it’s embarrasing

  especially whn you have a cute irish girl who wants to fuck you

 me: dude

  quit masturbating

  that’s the key

4:48 PM cut down on the booze too

  get a g/f

 Moham: hahahahha….I love it.

4:49 PM I cant have a gf….feels weird

 me: try it

  fake it if you have to

4:50 PM Moham: I should give it a try

 me: trust me

  your sex life gets way better

  you can dump them whenever u want

4:51 PM Moham: true

 me: but in order to not get attached

4:52 PM you have go at the relationship way harder than the girl

  trust me

  it sounds weird

  but it helps you stay independent

  just keep yourself objective

4:54 PM Moham: I’m gonna give it a shot. The problem is that all my fucking has been when I’ve been wasted. spending QT witha girl and just not drink seems weird

 me: haha

4:56 PM Moham: I need to stop be a meathead….thats what I need to do. It’s just that real conversations with girls are such a waste of time

 me: hahah

 Moham: I just want to bone

 me: not always

  lol

4:57 PM you have to get used to just listening to them and asking gneric questions while you think about other shit

 Moham: hahaha…I dont know…that seems like a lot of work

 me: lol

  not too bad

4:58 PM Moham: To be honest my meathead behavior will decrease because no one in Iran understand me

 me: lol

 Moham: I have to come down to their level and that sucks balls

4:59 PM most kids our age in Iran just suck a massive donkey dick

 me: hahahhaha

 Moham: they think they are so tight but they are really extremly gay

 me: that’s funny

  what do they do?

5:01 PM Moham: they all think the are massive pimps…they think they know everything and they are just generally quite retarded and full of themselves. When in fact they have nothing to show for.

  I mostly ignore them but sometimes i want to grab a 12 gauge and shove it up their ass

5:02 PM me: hahahha

  any stories?

5:03 PM Moham: Well I have to think of some but I’m sure I have plenty. I’ll try and remeber them and tell you some other time.

  How’s Skywoman, btw

 me: pretty ridiculous

5:04 PM we have an open relationship

  established by me

  and last night i was talking to her about have a three-way relationship

  she seemed open

  i am indoctrinating her to be my sex slave

5:05 PM Moham: dude thats awesome

  try and have a threesome

 me: dude a threesome is so passe

  i want 2 girls sleeping in my bed every night

  having my babies

  paying my rent

  sucking my dick

  having orgies

5:06 PM i’m going to achieve the ultimate man dream- multiple simulatneous girlfriends that are happy sleeping with each other

  it’s why that joseph smith dude invented mormonism

5:07 PM Moham: thats awesome

  That’s why Mohammed married a 9 year old

5:08 PM all the religious dudes expcet Jesus were massive pervs

 me: yep

  bet u jesus was a perv too

  they just cut those parts out of the bible

 Moham: hahahaha…possible

5:10 PM alright dude…im gonna go to sleep. my ball sack hurts from all the beating off and I need to sleep

5:11 PM me: hahaha

  alright

  goodnight

 Moham: goodnight dude

 

Women are Crazy at Times

Thursday, February 28th, 2008

I am going to have to say that I pity you, not because you are a man
but because you are so ignorant as to a) clump all women into one
stereotype and b) fail to realize that while women may use different
decision making processes and consider their emotions in their day to
day lives more than men it does not make them inferior to men. Women
are just as intelligent, just as hard working and just as capable of
succeeding in the business, science and legal fields as men. Women
are biologically programmed to want a family and that may lead you to
believe they are needy. However, I would much rather be characterized
as needy than as being unable or even unwilling to control my sexual
desires. If you want to talk about infantile let’s talk about men’s
ability to sacrifice all morals and sense of common decency in order
to fulfill their sexual urges. I think that men’s ability to treat
women like objects is far more pitiful than women’s emotionalism.
However, I would never make broad sweeping statements that imply that
all men are chauvinists or unable to commit or only looking for sex.

Crazy WOmen

Wednesday, February 20th, 2008

dude9:05 PM outrageous shit is happenning

  my rooommates g/f just physically attacked me

 me: what?!?!?!?!?

 Jeremy: yeah

 me: are you kidding?

  what the hell

  why?

 Jeremy: she got mad cause my music was too loud

 me: here

  call me

  my wrists hurt

 Jeremy: it wasn’t loud

9:06 PM me: dude

  call me

Harm Stop Hates Women

Wednesday, February 20th, 2008

Harm-Stop: me: being a woman is a form of infantilism
in my opinion
Freud’s concept of infantilism
Sent at 1:44 PM on Wednesday
me: superstition, emotional immaturity, neediness



27 minutes

2:16 PM me: haha true

2:17 PM Harm-Stop: a chubby liberal feminist is the extreme of this personality flaw
regressive personality flaw
instead of reason and discipline one embraces the opposite

 me: that’s why women have fat dicks to support them

2:21 PM dude, i had lunch sex holding Skywoman up with my cock in the open air… no walls within 4 feet in any direction

  fucking awesome

2:23 PM Harm-Stop: where at?

  balcony?

 me: center of my studio\

2:24 PM in front of the purple couch

  next time i’m going to do her that way start to finish

  it’s kind of tiring

  because you are doing mini squats

 Harm-Stop: workout and sex same time

 me: while trying to kiss and feel her up

  yep

 Harm-Stop: I just did 45 min in the gym

2:25 PM me: efficiency

 Harm-Stop: if you are lifting and getting sex that is so fucking efficicient

 me: yep

  paperio/lifting/sex

  all at once

 Harm-Stop: if you can just have a bagel within reach

  or a protein bar

 me: haha

2:26 PM memorize finance formulas



40 minutes

3:06 PM me: The Skywoman Works in Mysterious Way.. says:
hmm…
The Skywoman Works in Mysterious Way.. says:
so
The Skywoman Works in Mysterious Way.. says:
are we just enjoying what we have while we have it?
Super says:
hmmm
Super says:
yeah, i think so… what do you think?
The Skywoman Works in Mysterious Way.. says:
well
The Skywoman Works in Mysterious Way.. says:
i suppose we should try it
The Skywoman Works in Mysterious Way.. says:
i worry it’s a dangerous line



5 minutes

3:11 PM Harm-Stop: I’m just trying to get my dick wet bitch

3:12 PM she’d probably appreciate that comment

 me: lol



8 minutes

3:20 PM Harm-Stop: I think you should do something outrageous like blog about your sex with Tronmy

3:21 PM I bet she’ll take it

  and keep on giving out

3:22 PM me: lol

  i have to work with her



5 minutes

3:28 PM me: my strategy with Skywoman seems to be working… she said that she is going to start dating. this way she can enjoy what we have for the time being, then slowly ease off and find someone who wants to get married. i can continue having sex with her and being friends. everyone’s happy.

3:29 PM Harm-Stop: beautiful



13 minutes

3:43 PM me: this is awesome…talkiing to Skywoman right now and it seems like this will be my first open relationship

3:44 PM Harm-Stop: haha

  holy ground



38 minutes

4:22 PM Harm-Stop:



51 minutes

5:13 PM me: lol



44 minutes

5:58 PM Harm-Stop: want a delicious story?

  emailed