trap: omg this is so awkward
i’m writing a rejection email
to a freshmen girl
me: oh no
is this to your friend?
10:04 PM trap: no fortunately she didn’t put in a bid
so no issue there
me: who is the other girl?
trap: emily…she seems nice enough but she gets really drunk all the time
like, dangerously so
me: oh yeah, you mentioned her
10:05 PM she’s probably new to it
trap: new to drinking you mean
10:06 PM she also skips classes
me: hmm… i would specifically tell her that is why she is rejected
don’t be vague
make sure she understands u aren’t rejecting her as a person
just certain behaviors
trap: i don’t know…i don’t want to be like, we totally judged you tonight
even though that’s obviously what it is
me: that will make her feel much better than wishy washy bullshit
10:07 PM she’ll think there is soemthing wrong with her personality… that type of rejection is much worse than a rejection based on specific merit issue
10:08 PM i always found it much easier to be rejected from a sports team or a job or something than from a social group because the sports team was rejecting me because i didn’t have a good dribble or the job was rejecting me because i couldn’t remember accounting principles
when i was rejected by social groups, that hurt much worse, because then people are judging you as a person and saying you aren’t worthwhile
10:09 PM specific issues can be fixed and you may even make her a better person by telling her that.. the wishy washy way is easier on you, but much harder on her
trap: yeah that’s true
me: just my two cents
10:10 PM trap: that’s problematic because its the opposite of what the other officers said to write
10:11 PM me: i figured
people usually choose what’s easiest on them when rejecting someone
10:12 PM and tell themselvees its easier on the other person
10:13 PM trap: very true
10:14 PM me: i usually take the easier route myself
but when i am thoughtful, i try to do the right thing
it’s much easier to just BS someone though and sometimes more appropriate (if you don’t know them at all)
10:15 PM trap: she put in bids to other sororities
so i’m not quite as concerned as i would be if we were her only choice
i hope she gets invited to one of the other groups
10:16 PM me: yeah, that would make it more understandable for her
10:20 PM trap: whew, done
10:21 PM me: just in time for me to go to ed
trap: ed?
me: bed
lol
10:22 PM trap: lol i figured but just wanted to clarify…
me: why aren’t you in bed
130 right?
trap: i just got back from bid night/returning bids
and i wanted to email emily before she found out that everyone else’s bids were back and hers wasn’t
10:23 PM she’ll have time to figure out what to say to people
if they ask
me: ah
10:24 PM kind of you
10:26 PM trap: ok i guess i should go to bed too
me: good night, sleep tight
don’t let the bedbugs bite
trap: thanks, have a fabulous wednesday tomorrow
me: you too, especially since u have no class
trap: i will!
good night