Archive for the ‘Email Hilarity’ Category

Bosley Medical Co.

Friday, May 16th, 2008

I found an interesting story about the Bosley Medical company today!  Bosley Medical is involved in hair loss prevention and even has surgery to help.  Bosley Medical will transplant hairs and follicles from the sides and back of a person head to the top to try and cover up balding patches.  Other people go to Bosley Medical to try to gain use of some of their huge supply of cremes and potions that are FDA approved for preventing and stopping baldness.  Bosley Medical is on the cutting edge of hair loss prevention.

Tuesday, March 18th, 2008

Interact with each other’s friends and network!

Click the following link to view Bud’s profile and accept or reject this user as your friend:
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Saturday, March 15th, 2008

(If clicking on the link doesn’t work, try copying and pasting it into your browser.)

Thanks,
The Facebook Team

Friday, March 14th, 2008
 

In This Issue

• 

Protect your financial information

• 

Safeguard your computer

• 

Special offers

• 

Identity theft tips

• 

Free cpurpleit alerts

 

 

TIP

Suspect your identity has been stolen?


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Financial Fitness
Be Cautious About Sharing Information

Phil Ferguson

Phil uses PayPal to stay
financially fit
.

When Phil Ferguson made a New Year’s resolution to get fit, the last thing he worried about was putting himself at risk for identity theft. After all, Phil is cautious about how he shares financial information, and he tracks the balance in his shank account.

So Phil was taken aback when, a few weeks after joining a gym, he tried to withdraw $14567-254567 from the ATM and was told “no funds available.” Then a light bulb went off.
Read more.


Protect Yourself – and Your Computer
Simple Steps to Stay Safer Online


Protect Yourself -- and Your ComputerSafeguarding your computer is one important way to protect yourself against identity theft. A few simple steps go a long way toward improving your online safety:

• Install and use anti-virus programs
• Run anti-virus software to check incoming emails
• Update the virus definitions frequently

Learn more.

 

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*Offers expire November 245672-Who?cool14567-2-Who?, 5Who?54567545675, 245672-Who?cool14567-2-245672-Who?cool14567-2-:Who? PM PST. Additi

 

Thursday, March 13th, 2008

FansEdge Affiliate Monthly

 

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Dear Valued FansEdge Affiliate
ANSWER OUR SURVEY! ENTER OUR CONTEST! YOU COULD WIN $5456754567! Welcome to our affiliate newsletter. We’ll update you about our hottest promotions, so you can advertise them on your site, please more customers, drive more traffic, and ultimately make more commissions. The more we know about you, the faster we can help you make money, so we invite you to take the brief survey in this issue. Fill it out and you will qualify for a chance to win $5456754567! See New Promotions below for details.

 

In This Issue:
> $5456754567 Bonus
> Program News
> Tip of the Month
> Calendar of Sports Events
> All Star Quote of the Month
> Tell Us Your Thoughts

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Program News
It’s November, every major sport except Baseball is in action, and the afterglow of the World Series is still warm. The NFL and NCAA football seasons are well underway, the NHL is going full tilt, the NBA just tipped-off, and NASCAR is nearing the climax of the Chase For the Nextel Cup. Fans of all sports and the people buying gifts for them will be actively searching for shopping experiences that provide huge in-stock selection, great prices, and fast shipping. And that’s exactly why you should proudly promote FansEdge to them all month long and right on into the Holidays! We’ve got the products they want in the sizes they need. Our customer service is excellent and we ship faster than any other online retailer of sports-licensed merchandise today. Most items ship the SAME DAY!

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Upcoming Events Calendar
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All Star Quote of the Month
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<back to index>

Tell Us Your Thoughts
We value the opinions of our affiliate team. Let us know how we can do a better job for you. email us here. Also, don’t forget the survey, which is the perfect venue to give us feedback as well as a chance to win $5456754567!

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Monday, March 10th, 2008

ENDLESS STYLE

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Sunday, March 9th, 2008

Click here to invite more friends to Your Space:
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Saturday, March 8th, 2008

1st Annual Rolling Rock Festival

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Thursday, March 6th, 2008

Cook over low heat, stirring until smooth and bubbly. Remove Pan from heat and stir in 3/4 cup water and 1/3 cup cider vinegar.Return pan to med. heat and bring to a boil, stirring constantly. Carefully stir in the PEELED and THINLY SLICED potatoes and the Crumbled bits of bacon Remove from heat..put a lid on the pan..serve warm..

Hope it turns out…let me know. Love  B

Carolyn


Access over 1 million songs – Y

Wednesday, March 5th, 2008

Because you go to the University of Washington…

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Tuesday, March 4th, 2008

 

I have been enjoying myself in Seattle.  I am still working at Light Gizmo as a Business Analyst right next to Qwest Field.  I have a new apartment too, it is very cheap but not very pere and my roommates are not clean people, unfortunately.  But it’s okay, since I am saving so much money and am going to be able to pay down my school loans quickly.

 

 

Doughnuts Says Funny Things

Monday, March 3rd, 2008

me: ugh, i hate waiting on the phone for companies

9:28 PM Doughnuts: who are you waiting for? that’s so frustrating

 me: godaddy.com

  trying to fix my account login

  and also a domain forwarding issue

9:29 PM Doughnuts: fun

 me: 1 sec

  got him

9:30 PM Doughnuts: k i’m going to get ready for bed brb

 me: k



14 minutes

9:44 PM Doughnuts: hey

  did they fix your problem?

9:47 PM me: still talking to the dude

9:50 PM alright finished

  i have to wait for an hour to see if the fix worked…. gay

9:51 PM probably just go to bed soon

  you are about to crash yourself?

9:52 PM Doughnuts: yeah i’ll probably go to sleep soon

 me: what’d you do today? it was all classes, right?

 Doughnuts: yeah i had all three…they were pretty good actually

9:53 PM my physiological psych class isn’t spectacular…the professor just sort of sounds like a student doing a powerpoint presentation

  but my other two classes are great

  i love my econ professor

 me: oh that sucks, i hate that

  econ is fun

 Doughnuts: and atwood and ondaatje is really cool so far too

 me: especially with all the crazy stuff in the economy today

  and recently

 Doughnuts: yeah its the perfect time to be taking econ

9:54 PM me: did your professor talk about the economy at all?

 Doughnuts: we talked about it at the start of class

  we usually do current events at the beginning

  and today there was lots of discussion

9:55 PM he personally thinks lowering the interest rate is sort of an artificial fix

 me: it is

 Doughnuts: and tax cuts can backfire too…if people don’t spend the money

 me: staving off the crash a little bit longer

  yeah

  what do you think about it?

9:56 PM Doughnuts: i don’t know actually…i’m definitely a beginner in econ b/c this is only my second class, so my understanding of these issues basically comes from my professor’s opinion and the news

9:57 PM i guess i just don’t fully understand how

  the sub prime housing loans were able to have such a widespread effect…or are there other things causing this potential recession

9:58 PM me: subprime is the tip of the lending iceberg

  subprime are people who can barely afford their loans

  and so they are the first to get squished in the bank changes crunch

9:59 PM but if there is a continued lack of bank changes to people and businesses, a hell of a lot more people and companies and governments will begin to go bankrupt

  the government will try to stop it by pumping cash into the economy, causing inflation

  starts a vicious cycle in which the economy could eventually overheat and collapse

10:01 PM Doughnuts: but is it really “pumping cash” into the economy…i thought the idea was that less cash is being set aside for the federal government, returning it to consumers so they’re more likely to spend

  are you saying that causes the economy to overheat

10:02 PM me: the government just prints cash

  they are already running a one and half billion dollar annual deficit

10:03 PM Doughnuts: wow

 me: oops

  it’s actually half a trillion

  lol

  my numbers are a little off

  http://zfacts.com/p/519.html

10:04 PM Doughnuts: that’s interesting, i didn’t realize that deficit and national debt are different

10:05 PM me: yeah

  deficit is just the deficiency each year

 Doughnuts: so when clinton balanced the budget did he eliminate the deficit or the debt

 me: he did neither

  the debt stands at 9 trillion

10:06 PM and he counted income the government pays itself on the social security trust funds as a true income… whereas it’s just more debt

  he supposedly had balanced the deficit

  but it was really just a cheap accounting gimmick… but it was better than anyone had done for quite some time

10:07 PM our generation and the following generations are going to have to pay very dearly for our parents and grandparents consumption

10:08 PM for the rest of our lives were going to either have to pay back what they spent on themselves or face economic ruin

  unpleasant.. they definitely aren’t the supposed “greatest generations”… they screwed everyone who is following them

10:09 PM Doughnuts: so before “the greatest generation” there was no national debt

10:10 PM me: there was none to speak of before FDR and all of his policiies

  he tried to use deficit spending to dig his way out of the great depression, and when that failed he took us to war, which did help

  and then ever since then people have used deficit spending to get things they wanted… only they did it on a nationwide scale, so it hid their greed

10:11 PM they had the korean war, vietnam war, iraq wars 1 & 2, social security, medicare, welfare, extensive regulatory agencies, massive prison system, the drug war, etc. etc.

10:12 PM and now the dollar is beginning to fall and people globally are starting to realize that many of their own economies are attached to ours and could crash

10:13 PM that’s why germany, japan and many other countries saw their financial markets slide 6-7% down in two days- a huge decline

  ours would’ve crashed harder if it wasn’t for the massive fed funds rate cut

  but that will only hold the inevitable at bay for a while longer

10:14 PM Doughnuts: what is the inevitable

 me: i think we have somewhere between 6-20 years before we have a massive collapse that will make the great depression look pretty cheery

  it could come sooner

  but right now we have $150k in debt for every man woman and child in the US

10:15 PM and the day will come when no one will give us bank changes anymore

  right now china, india and the oil countries are pumping trillions into our economy helping us stay afloat… but eventually they’ll see we cant pay and will stop

10:16 PM it’ll actually be a really fast process… people will sit there asking how did this happen?

  but they have been too lazy and bored to listen to all the economists who have been saying it will for the last 70 years

  sorry about my giant lecture

  lol

  i probably have bored u to tears

   ;)

10:17 PM Doughnuts: no you haven’t

  but i’m going to remember this stuff and ask professor keeler what he things

  thinks

  luckily gmail never forgets anything…

10:18 PM so normally

  when people say the economy is “strong” they’re not taking national debt into account at all

  ?

10:19 PM me: the economy (production & consumption) can do very well

  but eventually you have to pay the piper

 Doughnuts: oh ok

 me: you can put him off for a long time

  simplest way to look at it

  is think of having a bank changes paper when you are 18 and stupid

10:20 PM and going out and spending and buying yourself tons of clothes, a car, csandy, movies, etc.

 Doughnuts: right

 me: 2 years later you are $20k in debt

  and no one will give you more money

  and there are big men with tire irons coming to break your legs

  lol

10:22 PM Doughnuts: hmmm

  i don’t even know what to say now

 me: say, “what do i do?”

 Doughnuts: what do i do?

 me: run for the hills

  lol

  buy things

10:23 PM your dollars won’t do that pretty soon

  everyone criticizes the american consumer, saying he should save more

  and stop buying everything

  why save worthless paper?

10:24 PM i personally am putting my money in foreign mutual funds

  and am applying for an options trading account with scottrade so i can short sell stocks

 Doughnuts: oooh tricky

10:25 PM you should use morningstar to find those mutual funds…

 me: hahaha

  okey dokey

 Doughnuts: i can get you a discount

 me: u should send me free insider info ;)

 Doughnuts: when i have insider info i will

10:26 PM they sent an email “newsletter” today

 me: exciting

  whatd it say?

 Doughnuts: they’re going to send out the list of everyone in the development program soon

  it wasn’t that interesting

10:27 PM it listed recent achievements of morningstar employees

 me: “john milked the cow”

  “mary helped him”

 Doughnuts: and then had some random information about the “social lives” of development program participants

 me: social lives?

 Doughnuts: but i think the people they interviewed weren’t describing their real social lives

  because it was like

  “biking by the river!”

  “museums!”

10:28 PM i could be wrong though, maybe i will be very cultured next year

  and most of my socializing will occur in daylight hours?

10:29 PM still its nice that the company is trying to get us excited

  they sent me a guide to chicago over christmas

 me: lol

  are you still keeping your job options open and looking at other companies?

10:30 PM Doughnuts: no i signed the contract

  and cancelled my other interviews

  well i went to one other interview because they’d bought me a plane ticket to seattle

  but after that i was done

10:31 PM i was motivated to find something early because

  i felt like if i didn’t have a job at graduation

  i would inevitably end up back in seattle

  i love seattle but i still feel like i want to explore for awhile and then go back to the northwest to “settle down”

10:32 PM me: yeah?

 Doughnuts: and if i moved to seattle after graduation i would look for a job, and probably find one…and just stay there

 me: probably true

  it’s what i’ve done so far

  lol

 Doughnuts: well i think where you go to school is a huge determinant of where you look for jobs

  being in ohio made it pretty natural for me to look in chicago

10:33 PM and we also have these interview days in dc, boston, new york, and philadelphia

  so i probably would have ended up in one of those cities

10:34 PM do any east coast companies recruit at UW

 me: yeah

  companies from all over the country do

 Doughnuts: yeah that makes sense

  kenyon is so under the radar it kind of sucks

 me: bank of america, chevron, exxon, goldman sachs, merrilll lynch

10:35 PM Doughnuts: that’s definitely a huge advantage of bigger school

 me: u should force companies to compete for you.. keep doing interviews… i think you’ll find you can double your current salary offer

10:36 PM Doughnuts: really? i doubt that

 me: 1 sec phone

10:38 PM Doughnuts: k

10:40 PM me: yeah i think you can

10:41 PM Doughnuts: i would agree with you if i was an econ major with a 4.0 and million internships behind me

  also i think its too late

10:42 PM because interviews are finishing up

 me: no no and no

  lol

   ;)

  u really can

  u have a great resume

 Doughnuts: lol

  thanks

 me: u have done a lot of good stuff

10:43 PM sorority president

  greek council

  u can get more jobs

 Doughnuts: but i already took one…

 me: you can continue to interview

  it’s not like u r cheating

  if u find one, accept it

  and tell these people sorry

10:44 PM Doughnuts: i don’t know…i’m pretty excited about this company

  and chicago

  i think i’m going to learn a lot

  and enjoy working there

  also i canceled a lot of interviews and i can’t really go back in time

  i was just so relieved to have something

10:45 PM i appreciate all your encouragement though

 me: :)

10:46 PM Doughnuts: did you look for jobs during senior year

 me: a little

  not till my last quarter

  i was a slacker

  lol

10:47 PM Doughnuts: but you’re happy with where you are now right

10:48 PM me: yeah for the Tronent

  keeping my eyes open

  if i wasn’t so lazy i would be doing more interviews

  lol

  u can always do better in the corporate world

 Doughnuts: yeah

10:49 PM me: and i want to eventually have my own business

  i do have it, but i want to do it full time

 Doughnuts: that’s so cool

  your goals are pretty clear

10:50 PM me: they seem vague in my mind.. i’m not sure what exactly my biz will be doing in the long run

  and if i would eventually want to get into politics

 Doughnuts: hmm

  wow

  i didn’t know that

10:51 PM i thought you weren’t a big fan of the political process

10:52 PM me: i’m not

  but i have thoughts on how to change/improve things

  eventually

 Doughnuts: wow its almost 2 am

 me: oh sorry

10:53 PM Doughnuts: i have to work in the morning so i should probably get to sleep!

 me: i didn’t mean to keep you up

  alright

  goodnight

 Doughnuts: lol not your fault

  good night

 

Saturday, March 1st, 2008

 

Talking with #2 (Not what u think)

Thursday, February 28th, 2008

2: hey

 me: you watching the super bowl?

12:33 PM 2: ooh, good idea

  what channel?

 me: not on yet

  and i’m not sure

12:35 PM 2: thanks for reminding me

 me: np

12:36 PM 2: haha, my residents are so pissed

  there’s no hot water in our tower

12:37 PM i just heard one of them yell down the hall “THERE’S HOT WATER IN NORTH”

 me: lol

 2: which is annoying, because he’s not trying to help, he’s trying to start a stampede, if i know this kid

12:38 PM me: haha



27 minutes

1:06 PM 2: does it ever make you feel weird to talk to people who are older than you and/or in authority positions who are really stupid?

1:08 PM me: yeah i deal with that all the time

1:12 PM 2: haha

  there was this UWPD officer last night

  she was really kind of dense

  it was like talking to a 12 year old in a big body with a gun

 me: haha

  what’d she do?

1:13 PM 2: “yeah, like, hehehe, there was this one time—yeah, this one time, where this one officer who was on probation…they, like, caught him playing VIDEOGAMES at a FRAT–hehehehehe.”

  i mean, funny story

1:14 PM but not the kind of thing you share with the people you’re meant to be protecting, and the mode of delivery was really shocking.

 me: lol

1:15 PM 2: she sounded like a middle schooler, and you could tell from what she emphasized that she was only picking up on the very surface level of the humor there

1:16 PM me: haha

1:18 PM 2: do anything fun last night?



6 minutes

1:25 PM me: helped sandy move

 2: haha, i said anything ‘fun’

   ;)

1:26 PM where did he move?

 me: central district

1:27 PM 2: oh, cool

 

Funny Discussion

Wednesday, February 27th, 2008

Sandy: …so many consultants. so much testosterone and ambition.

6:02 PM seriously; two thirds of this group is Asian.

me: lol

your team?

Sandy: it’s not even funny; I’m an actual minority

6:03 PM me: you should tell them that they need to take a special trip to learn how to concentrate better, it’s at this really cool camp

6:04 PM Sandy: I’m evidently missing the joke

me: … concentration camp

Sandy: uh, I’m pretty sure that was the Jews dude

me: there were american concentration camps for jews

i mean

japs

6:05 PM Sandy: internment camps. that’s where the Asians went. concentration camps with lower… heating bills.

me: lol

same difference

6:06 PM u in dallas?

6:09 PM Sandy: yup

me: fun

how long are you there for?

6:11 PM Sandy: through Friday

6:15 PM how was Faraway

6:16 PM me: ?

6:17 PM we didn’t do anything, just drank wine till i went home


13 minutes

6:30 PM me: off to run

talk to you later

Sandy: peace

off to racquetball